It’s that time of year

The salesclerk overheard a man speaking on the phone who was obviously seeking a job.
“Oh,” he said, “You don’t need a new manager. You have a manager who is already doing the job? You don’t have another opening,” he seemed to be asking again and again.
As he walked away from the phone booth, the salesclerk sympathetically said, “I couldn’t help overhearing…I’m sorry you didn’t get the job.”
“Oh,” the young man said, “I already have that job. I just phone in every now and then to find out how I’m doing.”

Wow! What an unbelievable miracle occurred this week, proving that we’re in the times of peace where lions live with sheep! After all, how else could you live in peace with terrorists who pray daily for your annihilation? Yes, one more sign Moshiach is on his way.
But enough of that; let’s stop attacking our government in Israel . We’ve got more important issues at hand like the weather for example. That’s certainly more appropriate and interesting, don’t you think? It’s time to move on, isn’t it?

We are now in the last week of the month of Av, the month of destruction and comfort – and we are about to enter the month of Elul, month of repentance and return.
It is in the last month of the year, in the thirty days prior to Rosh Hashanah that we begin making an account of the past year. We add up all the good deeds that we have done, as well as the not-such-nice deeds we’ve done, and repent, ask forgiveness, and then make a resolution that next year will be much different.
Frightening? After all, between you and yourself, you know exactly where you stand before G-d. Most people, when facing themselves in the mirror, know their status could have been much nicer, to say the least.
Teshuvah: I’m sure you have heard of the word. It means repentance, but actually, that’s not the perfect translation; Teshuvah means return. Repentance implies that until now you were bad and now you want to repent and turn over a new leaf.
Return, on the other hand, means that you are essentially good; all you have to do is return to yourself, to your true self. Access that shining Neshama which, through thick and thin, remains connected to its creator.
No matter what, a Jew is special. No matter what, a Jew is connected. And every Jew is beautiful. Just dust him off, and let his soul fly and return.
The month of Elul is coming, so get ready to take off – to your own personal redemption. The world will follow.