Do we come from monkeys, or they come from us?

I personally know a rabbi who, for a long time, was pestered by a guy in his community. For example, every time the rabbi would speak at a rally or the like, this nudnik would stand behind him screaming and making faces.

One time, the rabbi decided that he had had enough. He was being interviewed by the local TV station at a Jewish event. The nudnik, of course, was there too.

Suddenly, the Rabbi interrupted the flow of the interview by announcing that he had breaking news: he had just started believing in evolution.

The TV host was shocked. “What happened to you, Rabbi? Have you suddenly stopped believing in G-d?”

“Well, no, it’s just that recently I grew a tail……”

The guy never came back.

***

I would like to pay my respects to a relative of humankind, thought by some to be the father of all humanity. He looks very much like us and even has some intelligence. And he loves bananas.

I’m talking about the ape.

Yup, the ape is a relative. But not the kind of relative you’ve been taught to think of.

In Parshas Noach we learn of two disasters that struck society because of its sins: the Great Flood and the Dispersion. In 1656 from Creation (2104 BCE), immorality and robbery warranted the world’s destruction.

Then, in the year 1996 from Creation (1764 BCE), the people rebelled against G-d by building the Tower of Babel . As punishment, they were scattered throughout the earth with different languages. In addition, according to the Talmud [1], many of them turned into apes!

So apes and humans do share genes. The scientists did have something to hook their theory on. But contrary to science, we don’t come from them; they come from us!

What a backward world.

Thirty years ago, they found skeletons of humanlike figures, but the bones were a little out of shape. So scientists fabricated names for these pre-historic figures: Australopithecines, Homo Habilis, Homo Erectus etc.

(Have you ever noted the irony of the name pre-historic? Of course there is no documented history of those times; they didn’t exist!)

Well, it may very well be that these disfigured shapes were actually humans who lived before the Great Flood. After floating in boiling water for half a year, their bones became deformed.

Science has many facts – but not what’s behind them. Fact: apes and human share something. Fact: there are strangely-shaped bones. The rest is up for interpretation. If you choose to think you descend from monkeys, and thus respect them, it’s your right.

A priest once asked a rabbi why Jews are so good at honoring their parents, while in his community he saw a horrible lack of respect.

“Of course,” said the rabbi, “it makes sense that young people don’t revere their elders. They are raised to believe that people come from apes. So the youngsters believe that they are of a more advanced, sophisticated generation, while their parents and grandparents are that much closer to their apish ancestry!

“We believe we come from G-d, so the older the generation, the closer to G-d they are.”

I believe they are my grandchildren. Let them respect me.