Category — Vayetze

The rabbi shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from his post and moving to a dryer climate. After the service, a very distraught lady came to the rabbi with tears in her eyes. “Oh, Rabbi, we are going to miss you so much. We don’t want you to leave!”

The kind-hearted rabbi said, “Now, now, Carolyn, don’t cry. The rabbi who takes my place might be even better than me.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, with a tone of disappointment in her voice. “That’s what they said last time…”

***

Abraham lived in Israel and had two sons. Isaac stayed on the path; Ishmael left and later returned.

Isaac lived in Israel and had two sons. Jacob stayed on the path, while Esau left and never returned.

Jacob lived in Charan and had twelve sons. They all stayed on the path.

Kabbalah teaches us that the three patriarchs differed in their primary soul-powers. Abraham personified Chesed, kindness; Isaac represented Gevurah, discipline; Jacob is associated with Tiferes, balance.

That’s all for Kabbalah vocabulary, let’s talk in today’s language:

There are some who are of the school of thought that believes in love, love, love, pampering the child and smiling at him even as he burns down the kitchen. These are the kind of parents who, when their child causes trouble, blame the teacher for ruining the could-do-no-wrong child. This kind of child runs the risk of leaving due to weak discipline and no backbone. But eventually they return, because there is love. They know that there will always be a loving home awaiting them.

Then there are the tough discipline types: You know the whip-the-child-into-shape style. No bending, no flexibility, it is shape up or ship out. It works on some, yet fails miserably with others. Unfortunately, children may leave, and may have a rough time coming back.

But there’s the way of balance, discipline with love. Have boundaries and enforce them, yet be flexible and loving at the same time. See the child’s faults and deal with them. See his talents and develop them. Give him or her space to thrive within the safe boundaries you have created.

This philosophy has proven itself: Despite growing up in a hostile pagan environment, all twelve sons of Jacob stayed devout.

Balance.

Joey was a nice Jewish boy born to an atheist Jewish family. The father was adamant about not giving his son a Jewish education, but, to his utter dismay, the only decent kindergarten in the neighborhood was Jewish. So, reluctantly, he enrolled Joey there.
The first afternoon, Joey came home from school and the proud father asked him to repeat what he had learnt that morning. Joey proudly announced that he had been taught that there is a G-d in this world!
Slap! The father flew into a rage. “What kind of nonsense are they throwing into your head? There is no such a thing as Creator and G-d…”
When, throughout the week, Joey comes home announcing how G-d had made the stars and the ocean, the father decided to call the quits on this Jewish thing, and transferred his son to the local public school.
After a couple of days in the new school, Joey approached his father. “Daddy, please don’t get angry,” he began meekly. “I just need to ask you one question.” The father nodded.
“Papa, in the first school they taught me that there is one G-d who created everything. In the second school, I hear about the about the many sources from which we evolved. I’m totally confused!”
The father responded impatiently, “Listen, Joey, I’ll tell you once and once only: there is one G-d and we don’t believe in Him!”

***

In today’s world of confused priorities, the following tale might not draw the admiration it deserves; on the contrary, it might cause just the opposite reaction. However, for the healthy mind it remains admirable.
Here is the story:
In this week’s Torah section, we meet Jacob, the third and last of our forefathers. We follow him as he leaves his home in southern Israel and travels to his mother’s hometown, Charan, in modern-day Iraq. In transit, he is robbed of all his possessions by his own nephew.
After a fourteen-year stopover in the great Yeshiva Academy of his time, under the leadership of Adam’s son Shem, he made his way to Charan. There, his uncle Lavan, a shrewd and sly character, scammed and cheated him at every opportunity.
He married the two daughters of his uncle Lavan, and remained at his father-in-law’s place for twenty-two years (an admirable feat even in the most normal of circumstances.) There, he raised the twelve tribes and their twins, over two dozen children, in the ways and legacy of his grandfather Abraham and father Isaac.

Think about it: Here is one man, alone in a hostile environment, cheated and hated by his own father-in-law, working all day and night to support his family, away from his parents for over thirty-five years.
To top it all off, he had that little memory stick in his brain forever reminding him that if his twin brother Esau were to lay his hands on him, he would murder him in cold blood for stealing his blessing.
He could have easily succumbed to the circumstances, built a home with an unhealthy and unstable environment, and reared confused children who would grow up with a deep hatred toward the “archaic,” “burdensome” values of their ancestors.
Yet that was not the case; each and every child remained loyal to his heritage, honoring Jacob and assuring the continuity of the Jewish nation.
How admirable for a man to remain strong in his convictions in the face of opposition and hostility! What a blessing it is to raise children who follow in the footsteps of their ancestors and remain loyal to their beliefs!
From where did he draw the strength and confidence? It was from the fourteen years during which he had immersed himself in Torah study and prayer and disconnected from the world and its temptations.
The secret of continuity is education; the secret of education is living as a shining example of the values we teach. And the secret of practicing what we preach is the dedication of a time of our lives to being in the environment we wish to pass on.
In simple words: the key to Jewish continuity and the solution for the growing problem of assimilation, is for our children to learn in a Jewish school, to be taught from their youth about our illustrious heritage and the responsibly they carry for the present and future.
Let’s give our children the happiness they deserve with a G-d to trust and love, ancestors to emulate and admire, and activities which make them feel connected to both of the above.
Give them a Jewish education!