Category — Parsha

Abe goes to see his boss and says, “We’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” 

“We’re short handed, Abe,” the boss replies. “I just can’t give you the day off.”

“Thanks, boss,” says Abe, “I knew I could count on you!”

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Action!

The camera zooms in on… the donkey on which the main actor Bilaam sits.

Two seconds later the donkey opens her mouth… and begins schmoozing with her boss,

“Hey, - - Am I not your loyal donkey, why did you beat me these three times?”

“Had I been able to, I would have killed you!”

Suddenly Bilaam sees an angel with a sword in his hand…

Director: Cut! Job well done. Scene went perfectly.

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Action!

Main actor with a sinister look on his face stands atop a mountain. In front of him lies a large valley filled with 2 million people. Hundreds of thousands of tents are spread over the landscape creating truly an awesome sight to behold.

He closes his eyes, throws back his head and begins his prepared speech.

“How great are you… I cannot curse you!”

Director: Cut! Hey actor, did you forget? You are supposed to be the bad guy!

Actor: Oops. There I go again for the third time! This must be the hand of G-d!

It’s all here in our weekly Torah portion. Talking donkeys. Jews in unity and Jews in sin. Bilaam was hired to curse and he ends up blessing the Jewish nation, and finally he hints to the final days before the Redemption.

G-d’s movie.

Oh, by the way, did you know that Moshiach our final redeemer will be a descendant of Balak the guy who hired Ballam to curse us?

Yup. With G-d writing the script, we can expect such an ending.

Police, Police. Hurry and come, a man is standing on the 10th floor of the hotel dangling his child from a window and looking to throw it!
Come quickly before it’s too late!!!
The phone hangs up.
Oh no, I forgot to tell them that the hotel is on fire and they better send fire trucks and ladders to help get the people out? Do you think I should call them back?

“What did Korach do? He gathered the entire congregation and began to tell stories:
“There was once a widow in my neighborhood who had two little orphan girls.She owned a modest field from which they made their living. She began to plough the field; Moses told her ‘Do not plough with an ox and a donkey together’.
“She began to sow the field, He said ‘Do not sow the field with mixtures of seeds’. She began to harvest the crop; he said, ‘leave the gleaning sand the edge of your field for the poor’.
“As she gathered the harvest; he said ‘Give the tithes to the Priests and the Levites’. She gave it all to him.
“She sold her field and bought two sheep in order to clothe her children from their fleece and to gain profit from their offspring and milk.
“When they gave birth, Aaron came and demanded the firstborns, as it states:’Every firstborn…. you must sanctify to God’. She gave him the lambs.
“Then she came to shear the sheep. Aaron came and said, ‘G-d gave it to me,as it states, “The first of the fleece give to him.’
Korach continues his story.”…she stood there crying with her two daughters. The nerve of Moshe and Aaron taking advantage of this poor widow! Adding insult to injury, they blame it all on G-d as though he commanded it, it’s not their fault..” (Midrash Tehillim)

Sad story, isn’t it? Oh poor lady. You could almost cry. Because of this and other such tales many Jews joined Korach’s opposition party against Moses.
The facts speak for themselves, or don’t they? Did Korach forget to tell you something like in the story of the man dangling his child from the hotel, hoping some kind stranger will catch it and save the child from a sure death in the blazing inferno?
Let’s pause and reflect. Where did this whole story happen? In the desert!
Can anyone tell me where there are fields in the Sinai desert?
Oh and about “Give the tithes to the priest”? For heavens sake, that only started once the Jews arrived in Israel!
If so, how did 250 of the greatest sages fall for a story that was not only strange, but was downright sci-fi fabricated lies?
How? Hello! The relevance to today’s world and politics in particular is so scary and poignant. To put it bluntly: Anyone can fall for anything, as long that he/she don’t have their principals and convictions straight, clear and etched into stone.

A high school teacher decided to demonstrate to his class the dangers of alcohol abuse. So he conducted an experiment. He took one glass of water and one glass of whiskey. He then took a little worm and dropped it in the glass of water. The worm had a nice swim and then the teacher removed the worm unharmed.
He then dropped the worm into the glass of whisky. In no time at all, the worm was dead. He then turned to the class and asked them what the experiment proved.
Whereupon one wise guy at the back piped up and said, “Sir, it proves conclusively that if you drink enough whiskey you will never suffer from worms!”

No, I wasn’t eavesdropping on a typical conversation between you and your mother…
In this week’s Torah portion, we read how Moses appointed twelve of the greatest sages of Israel to go check out the land of C’naan (Israel) that they were to conquer and to develop a plan of action.
40 days later they returned with their findings, “The people of the land are big and dangerous, and we see no way of conquering the land.” Upon hearing the report, the Jews broke out in bitter tears, asking, ‘Is this what we left Egypt for?’
When G-d saw the Jews crying, He flew into a rage, and at that moment He decided to destroy the two future Holy Temples, making that day, the nintort, the Jews broke out in bitter tears, asking, ‘Is this what we left Egypt for?’
When G-d saw the Jews crying, He flew into a ragh of Av, a day of tears and sorrow for generations to come. In addition, He punished 10 of the 12 spies personally,killing them by fire!
What was their big mistake? After all, they were sent on a mission to ‘check it out’, and they came back with an honest report and assessment of their findings?
Granted, it was not the answer G-d was hoping for. But G-d does give us the freedom of choice, and all they did was voice their honest opinions!
The answer my friends, is quite simple. The mission of the spies was to figure out How to conquer the land, and not to judge whether it was doable or not! – If. That was G-d’s task; theirs was to find a way.
By overstepping their boundaries,
they questioned G-d’s ability to pull through with His promise! That same G-d who took then out of Egypt,
split the see and gave them the Torah. Yes their facts were right ‘the people are strong and mighty’, but their conclusions were wrong ‘we can’t do it’. They crossed the red line.
It’s a lesson not only in Judaism but in life in general: Don’t say ‘If’, say ‘How’.

“As you know, the government takes 40 percent of what you make. The other 60 percent, of course, is taken by the gas stations.” – J L

With gas prices hitting the roof and emptying our pockets, “energy” is the talk of the day. “Sue the big oil companies!” cry the liberals. “Drill for oil in Alaska!” scream the conservatives. “This is a sign from heaven that we should go green!” nudge the environmentalists. “Ha! Ha!” laugh the sheiks and princes in Saudi Arabia.
The solution I’ll leave to the ‘mavens’. The lessons however are for all to find.
What everyone agrees on is the huge problem that lies in being energy dependent, at the whim and mercy of foreign governments, all of which place their own interests ahead of ours.
Once we are already discussing oil, let’s take a look into our ancient Bible, wherein lies the answers for all of today’s woes. As the Baal Shem Tov taught us, we must live with the times, the Times being the Parsha of the week!
This weeks Torah portion is called “Beha’alotevha”, where we read of G-d’s commandment to Aaron to light the Menorah. Rashi explains the word ‘Beha’alotecha’ to mean that when lighting the Menorah the flame must be lit until it lightens up from itself.
Following the saying “the candle of G-d is the soul of man,” our Sages take the verse about the Menorah and apply it to the education of man. One must educate a child and ingrain within him such strong values and principals, that his Judaism and morality should be independent – lighted up from within.
Real education means to mold the child with great inner integrity and values, so that even when no one is around, he/she remains pious and moral. This kind of integrity is the opposite of “it’s okay to… as long as you don’t get caught”. It’s the discipline to do what’s right even when mom and dad are not around, or when it’s inconvenient.
One’s thoughts, actions and words, must not be measured only when in front of a large audience, but rather at all times and in all places and circumstances.
Getting back to oil prices. One thing is for sure, that when charting the course of our own engine/integrity, we must become energy independent and educate our children likewise. The stick and slap won’t do the job of education, they will just destroy. Only energy independence – where the child feels that ‘it’s my G-d, my Judaism, and my life’ will create spiritually healthy people with an inner moral compass. It is these children who will bring positive ‘change’ to an immoral universe.
The war of energy independence has begun. All for the L-rd follow… your own conscience!

A pupil notices his rabbi cut his nails every Friday afternoon after immersing in the ritual bath (mikva).
Naturally, he is curious as to why his master consistently does this at the same time every week, so he asks the rabbi for an explanation.
The rabbi replies, “If you truly want to know, you must first fast for 30 days, with only a small meal each evening.”
After 30 days of fasting, suffering and endurance, the student comes back to receive his hard earned explanation.
“Why? Replies the master, because the nails are softest after taking a bath…”

You’ve been counting down the days. Day by day you impatiently counted “18 days which are two weeks and four days….” And the countdown is on, as we are now up to “43 days…”.
With less than a week to go, you can feel your heart beating with anticipation. “It’s coming closer…” you scream, busting the eardrums of all those were unfortunate to be in your path.
Finally one fella is curious enough to ask you, “Yo sonny, what is coming closer?”
You are shocked into silence by the ignorance of this guy, ‘How is it possible that there is someone who doesn’t know of the upcoming big event?’
“What? You say. You don’t know about the upcoming holiday of Shavuot?”
“Why, what about it?”
“How can a Jew not know about the cheesecake holiday?”
“Excuse me, did I hear ya correctly, you’ve been counting down all this time for some cheesecake? Hey listen dude, I’ll give ya a dollar and go buy ya-self a piece of cheesecake. Boy! This sounds like waiting the whole week for Shabbat to arrive, so that you can have some cholent!”
“How’d you guess? That’s exactly how it is…”
“Listen buddy there’s got to be something bigger and better about this Shavuot holiday, that you’ve been waiting for… Why don’t you go out there and check out for the true reason behind the countdown…”
Suddenly it hit you. “How did I forget? I’m counting down to the giving of the Torah and every day I’m elevating and purifying myself to be able to receive it!
“And there’s more to it, we’re about to renew our wedding vows with G-d taken 3,320 years ago!”
“Okay okay, there you go with your shouting again…”
“One last thing, I would like to wish you and yours a happy and healthy holiday! May we receive the torah with joy, and internalize its message.”
“And my blessings to you buddy, is that you should get a bit of clarity…”