Category — Holidays

Purim is one day in the present month of Adar when we are commanded to drink L’chaim and be merry.

Once upon a time there lived a Jew by the name of Yankel, who had a custom that he would drink and drink throughout the entire month of Adar. When asked by the townsfolk to explain the logic behind the month-long-non-stop marathon of endless booze, he willingly offered his thoughts:

“Listen people, on Purim we celebrate our salvation from total annihilation, when the terrible Haman schemed to kill all the Jews on one day, the thirteenth of Adar.

“And I ask you; why for all times sake, did Haman plan on killing millions of people on one day, and not over a longer period of time? A week, a month…. Why in one day? What’s the rush, it would seem close to impossible to carry it out, so why the ‘one day kill all’ deal?”

By now a large crowd had joined the spectacle, here was the town drunkard putting forth a Talmudic discourse. Wow! Even the learned amongst them were listening with full attention.

“My dear friends”, cried Yankel with a thumb swinging high as if he was lecturing to a hall packed with Yeshiva students;

Haman was no dumbbell! He knew good and well, that throughout history, in many instances of danger for the Jewish people, G-d had come to the rescue. He had a suspicion that it might repeat itself on his plan.

“So Haman said to himself; if a miracle does happen, I will only give them one day to celebrate!”

By now Yankel was standing tall and shouting for all to hear: “I know of Haman’s plan, therefore I drink for the entire month.”

***

When Adar enters, we add in joy.

This year we have not one but two months of Adar, totaling 60 days of nonstop joy and happiness.

Everyday we add, we climb another rung on the ladder of happiness, higher and higher we grow, wider and wider the smile widens. Not because of the money in the bank, but despite of it. It is happiness from within – being happy with our (a)lot, and singing the never ending song of praise to the Almighty, for all He’s done and continues to do, for me and you.

And the happiness shall never stop, for soon the day will come when “our mouths will be full of laughter”, with the coming of Moshiach, which is gonna happen real soon.

Answer: They both should take less than 18 minutes!

***

It is really hot outside. Hot like a desert.

There are hundreds of people out there in the fields, wrapped in rags, with ripped sandals on their aching feet. They walk haggardly, the whiplash marks painted all over their broken bodies. To the side stands the guard, a dark-skinned man with an interesting-looking beard.

Stop for a moment and imagine the scene. Enter Egypt of 3300 years ago.

Now make use of your imaginary Photoshop program, and insert yourself into the picture. From now on, you will be experiencing the drama along with the others. You will try to feel their pain and plight.

Ready? Let’s continue.

You notice one of your co-workers collapsing. He is blue.

You don’t cry; you are already immune to pain, having lived this nightmare for the last seventy years. Life is painful.

When the guard walks over to the dead man, you have a brief moment to think undisturbed. Your mind begins to wander…

You remember the time your daddy sat you on his lap and related what had been told to him by his father, quoting the patriarch of the family: A day would come when a man would arise and declare in the name of G-d, “I have surely remembered you!” Then all the suffering would end…

Whip! GET TO WORK! The guard is back. Back to reality!

Back to work you go, but with a flicker of hope. The future you see so vividly revives your shattered soul. It is all about to end, you tell yourself with pure faith.

BOOM!

Hey, what’s the noise I hear? Why is everyone shouting?

You raise your eyes and behold a dream come true.

There stands a man with an angelic look, with a long white beard and eyes so kind you forget your troubles. And he is shouting for all to hear, “G-d has said: ‘I have surely remembered you!’”

Moses is in town. Welcome.

*

Now close Photoshop. Go back to the exile of America 2008.

No whips, no guards, but an exile of a different sort – a prison of secularism and lack of Divine revelation.

BOOM!

Hey, what’s that noise I hear? Why is everyone shouting?

You raise your eyes and behold a dream come true.

There stands a man with an angelic look, with a long white beard and eyes so kind you feel the truth penetrating your soul. And he is shouting for all to hear, “The time of your redemption has arrived!”

Moshiach is in town.

Welcome.

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Chanukah stamps?”

The clerk asks, “What denomination?”

“Oh my G-d,” the woman says, “has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”

***

You’re a loner.

Friends have deserted you.

The world you knew is totally upside-down.

Morality is lost.

Religion is prohibited.

Everything you stand for is crumbling before your very own eyes.

What do you do?

You sit down with a few loyal followers to devise a plan of action. Ideas are being thrown around the table:

“Just give up; it’s a lost cause!”

“We should go into hiding, so that at least we and our families will stay loyal and devout.”

“Let’s open an underground resistance movement, and slowly build it into a huge force. Eventually, when we will be large enough, we will fight back.”

“Pray! And cry to G-d for help!”

What do you do?

You are the leader and everyone looks at you, waiting for your decision.

In your mind there is a vision of a day when freedom will ring through out the world, when democracy will replace tyranny. Flashbacks of mighty Samson, Abraham and Joseph float through your memory.

You look at the discouraged faces of your family and followers, despair painted all over their faces. What will become of them?

You reach a decision:

Fight back!!!

Are you out of your mind?

That is suicide!

What’s the rush?

Moreover: if you lose, there will be no one left to teach the people!

Where is your responsibility?

Fight back!!!

You close your eyes, and you share a dream:

“Dear friends, I can see the future. I see a place called America, a country similar to our sophisticated Greece, full of culture and secularism. It is a land where religion is unpopular and out of style.

“Yet look! There is a Menorah at the White House, at the mall, in Manhattan, and in the windows of millions of people’s homes.

“See the smiles on the faces of Jewish children; look at the determination in the faces of their parents! Listen how they tell the story of our heroism, and promise to keep up our legacy.

“We have responsibility for the future generations! We must not be afraid! The future of Judaism is in our hands!”

They smile at you. They understand.

Moshiach now!

Happy Chanukah!

Q: How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 50. One to change the bulb, 13 to discuss it and give contradictory advice to the person changing the bulb, and 36 to live elsewhere, start their own community, act mentshlich and not mention the previous bulb.

***

Hey, have you heard? It’s Rosh Hashanah tonight!

One second, I know that at my old age, memory is the second thing to go (I forgot the first), but if I remember correctly, just over two months ago we already went through the motions? Have we sinned so much that the Rabbis instituted quarterly High Holy Days?

One second, just hear me out…

Oh, no, don’t tell me that ten days later is a mid-winter Yom Kippur…

Relax, it’s not another 500-dollar-seat-eight-sermons-hundred-horn-blows kind of New Year; this time we are celebrating a different type. And it even has a unique name: Rosh Hashanah for Chassidus.

Hold on, I never heard of Rosh Hashanah for the Talmud, and I don’t recall a New Years for philosophy? Are we making new years for every new movement in Judaism? If that’s the case, based on the ‘two Jews three opinions’ principle, we’ll need a mathematician to figure out how many Rosh Hashanahs can be squeezed into a split second…

No, this is not just another movement; this is the energy of Judaism! I guess you can call it the Red-Bull of Jewish practice.

Huh?

Let me bring you an example. Imagine you live in beautiful house, a mansion, with all the delights you can imagine… but there is no light in the house. How much of the experience would it ruin?

All of it! It’s almost worthless if I cannot see it. True, everything is in place, and light doesn’t change anything, yet….

Ah! That is Chassidus; the light and energy of the Jewish way of life. You can live as a practitioner of Judaism by following the laws, however it is done robot-like, with no passion, and no happiness. The Chassidic revolution helps light up the already perfect, albeit dark and depressing home, so that it can truly shine.

Gotcha! Talking about Chassidic revolution, if I recall correctly, one of the good stuff it incorporated into our way of life, is the custom of raising a cup and saying L’chaim?

Correct!

Nu! It’s Yud Tes Kislev! Pass over the Schnapps! What are we waiting for?

L’chaim! Let us bless each other the traditional blessing which Chassidim bless each other on this day:

MAY YOU BE INSCRIBED AND SEALED FOR A GOOD YEAR IN THE STUDY OF CHASSIDUS AND IN THE WAYS OF CHASSIDUS!

A few weeks ago I was delivering a sermon in a synagogue. In the middle of my sermon, I noticed someone get up and walk out. Of course, I was pretty hurt, but I managed to contain my feelings and concluded the sermon. At the end of the service, I went over to the fellow and asked him why he’d left.
“Oh,” he said, “nothing personal, Rabbi. I went to get a haircut.”
Of course, I was relieved. But then it occurred to me to ask him, “But why didn’t you get the haircut before my sermon?”
“Rabbi, I didn’t need one then!”
***
In desperate need of a suit in honor of the holidays, I went shopping in the mall.
My first stop was a nice big store with a beautiful display. A pleasure to shop in – or so I thought. I went over to the first suit that caught my eye, an elegant blue striped suit, and casually checked the price tag. To my shock and consternation, it read $4000!
Obviously, I had walked into an extremely upscale store – the price range here was completely out of my league.
Not to feel like a total loser, I made sure to try on the jacket and photograph myself in it. And so, at least for a quick moment, I felt like a millionaire. And it was even caught on camera!
Walking out of the store, I couldn’t help thinking: Ah, if only I had the money to go shopping without dashing for the ” Sale” rack! Then, with closed eyes, I would swipe my credit card on a purchase of a flashy new Lamborghini; I would build a mansion on the beach.
Oh, I thought to myself, how happy I would be!
That changed on Sunday.
I was at the airport waiting to board the plane. Feeling hungry, I walked over to a newsstand to buy some candy. Against my better judgment, I snatched a glimpse at the day’s news headlines.
The covers of the multi-readership magazines and papers shouted of conflict, destroyed lives, and immorality. And somehow, most headlines involved celebrities.
Boom! In a flash, the truth hit me in the face, and it screamed: Wake up! See for yourself how fame, money and material bliss not only do not contribute to happiness – on the contrary, they thwart it! These adored personalities, envies of the public, can not enjoy the blessings of normal life, health and family which many take for granted. It’s a heavy price they pay.
*
Wednesday evening, we begin a nine-day non-stop marathon of feasting, dancing, and laughter.
Having a hard time putting a smile on the face after your credit card has been stretched to the max, and you don’t have a clue where to start?
That’s the point! You don’t need to acquire anything to find happiness, because it comes from within. Just look inside and become aware of the unique YOU, by appreciating the fact that you are so special that there is no one in the world like you. Be happy because G-d trusts and believes in you.
If thinking is too difficult, just put a smile on your face. True, you’ll feel like a stewardess. But feelings follow action, and before you know it, it will be for real.
Smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!