6 Reasons Why You Should Gossip

1. Why? Who cares why! It makes you feel good. And like the famous ‘American dream’ slogan goes: “I’m not hurting anybody” – ye sure. 

2. Because we’re all one big happy family, and there are no secrets in family… And for the learned amongst us; aren’t we taught that “what is yours is mine…”, and all the other ‘we are all one big family…’ slogans? Why be selfish? Share it with the world!

3. The media and tabloids have shown the world that it is a moral obligation to bring to light everyone’s dirty laundry. No, there is no such a thing as privacy; your life is my life, and your mistake is my appetizer.

Not to mention new inventions like ‘Google earth’, where all sense of privacy has been thrown back to the dark ages, before the days of newspapers, phones (that’s a big one), and the whole media business.

4. Because you are G-d’s warrior. And just as G-d cannot tolerate falsehood, so too, you as His fighter, have a moral obligation to search, find and spread the neighbors’ secrets so that he should not ‘heaven forbid’ receive false respect and feel haughty.

It’s all in the name of G-d.

5. It is a custom amongst families and communities from way back when, that on many an occasion, especially around the dinner table, we put a human sacrifice on the altar, and slaughter him/her with verbal knifes and daggers. And who is gonna change the family custom?

Ah, don’t you remember grandma sitting on the porches sipping homemade ‘Borscht’ (beet juice), and screaming on top of her lungs, across a six lane avenue, the greasy details of the newest slice of gossip?

6. Because you never heard this story;

Rabbi Shmuel, the fourth Rebbe of Chabad, was once sitting in his office studying, while his two sons, Zalman and Sholom, were playing in the yard. His studies were suddenly disrupted by loud cries and screams coming from outside. He rushed outside, and saw his younger son, Sholom, lying helplessly in a pit.

He quickly pulled the boy out of the pit, then turned to Zalman and asked: “What is the meaning of this?”

Zalman angrily responded: “It’s not fair; I am the older brother, so I should be the taller one, but Sholom is taller than me. So I threw him into a pit, so now I’m taller!”

“My son, said the sage, if you want to be higher than your brother, don’t put him down in a pit. The solution is: Climb on a ladder! Pick yourself up.”

So reason number 6 is: Why feel guilty that you’re not the best you should be? Just point out the negative of everyone else and then let the guilt disappear; after all, you’re the best.

Thought of more reasons why to gossip? Feel free to post on the blog.